~Time

Seriously, where does the time go? I wish there were more than 24 hours in 1 day, but there simply isn't time enough for all that I want to do.

So I've been MIA, I know I know, you know that! There are several reasons...

1- Time... I want my blog to be one of my babies, something I can enjoy & love & put so much effort into, and time seems to not be on my side lately. I've gotta drop other things in order to make my blog a priority because i LOVE to write!

2- anger... when I post what I feel most deepest in my heart & soul and then get ridiculed for it, it makes me ANGRY. I want this to be a place where I can write what I want, when I want, why I want. So thats what it must become. If you don't like what I write, don't read it! Simple, isn't it?

3- holy MOM... 5little kids and 1 big hubby have taken my whole world and made it not mine... it's their's and that I must accept!

4- winter... it gets dark so much earlier and I don't like it:( It seriously makes me TIRED!!!

5- photography- I got in too deep, too fast and was OVERWHELMED! But have slowed WAAAYY down and am loving it again!

So be on the look out for some real cool kick a** posts SOON!

~a few things

Meet me for the next few months:

This is your typical Canadian Hockey Mom all through the winter! I have 3 boys who play hockey and I also manage one of their teams! I am literally crazy crazy crazy hockey mom through the winter. And you know, I'm not complaining, because i LOVE THIS SPORT! I love that I get to manage the boys' team, that I get to basically be the 'boss' and call all the shots! I love watching them grow and evolve in this great sport! I really do love it! But I also get completely exhausted by the end! And thus a new season has begun!

There are a few things that really frustrate me and really stress me out about children's sports. I really don't understand what all the politics is about? Why can't we all just be in it and give our best for ALL children not just our own? Why does it matter who you know, who your kid knows, or who your friend knows? Why can't adult smarten up & simply be in it for he joy of our children? I hope to be one of the adults who make it about the kids, ALL KIDS! Not just my own! Anyway, I'm sure over the course of this hockey season I'll be ranting & raving on myblog because some parent's are not in it for the children, maybe only for their own! ARGH!

Remember this post? Well I had to say goo-by to Mike last week. I mean, he is old & all, and yes, he was made to quit Survivor because of his medical issues:( so that means I am out of the running in the lil pool. But because I started watching it I'm kinda into it. There is this one contestant that is making it really interesting & I'd like to know what happens to him!

My photography has really taken off! Are you on face book and do you want to follow my photo shoots a little more closely? Become a fan of Little Things Photography with this photo:

I tend to update this site more than my photography blog! I suppose that is because most of my clients come from face book! (do I call my friends my clients? Why don't i call them my friendclients? I dunno) Anyways I would love for you to follow my journey into the photography land!!!

This beautiful mommy:

over at Raising Z nominated me for a BLOG AWARD! woo hooo! I'm going to put careful consideration into who I nominate before I post it! So look for it in the next few days!

In the meantime I leave you with my latest favorite photo that yours truly did all on her own! Have a great weekend everyone!

~kids say the funniest things

This is a story about 2 brothers...

... sitting so nice together, watching cartoons... COMMERCIAL break!

Maxi pad comemercial comes on... Here is the conversation that followed during that commercial....

Mason: "dad, are those a kind of band-aids?"

... Connor is looking right at his dad as mason ask's this... (like he's wondering the same thing)

Jason (the Dad): "No, No they're not."

EXIT dad...

He was not going to address what they really were!

~how we became who we are part 1

I realize that a few more people are starting to read my blog! Which excites me! I have had this love affair with writing and sharing my life for as long as I can remember. And I love that most people are keenly aware that most lives are far from perfect, including mine (Thank God for forgiveness)!

So I wanted to do a little mini session about how we came to be the appell-igarta family. We'll start with me & how the Igarta got into our equation!

Meet Jeff:

Meet Alexa:

Meet Alexa & Alyssa:

Meet Alyssa falling in love with Jeff (wearing his shorts):

Meet Pete:

Beautiful, eh? Actually this is the lowdown on the story!

Alexa: Alyssa & I were living our happily ever after, just the 2 of us. It was actually really great! We were happy. I was in school full time and also working 4 different jobs making ends meet. I was loving being a mom, loving being a student, and loving being an employee! Yes, times were tough, but God was my #1 and he always knew that my life was going to be OK. I was so on fire as a Christian! I loved reading the bible & having my God to fill any void that I was needing in my life.

Jeff: Jeff had been living in Reno, Nevada for approx. 1 year by the time I came along. I remember the story being told numerous times as how his journey in Reno came to be. He was living in the central coast of California for as long long time when he felt the Lord calling him to move. He made the jump & came to Reno living with friends and finding work. The part of his story that sticks out so much to me is that before he left the coast he told his dad that he was going to Reno to find a wife! (wait for it, wait for it, oh ya!) After giving up his whole life as he knew it & putting God as number 1, Jeff & I crashed into each other with the help of a friend.

Pete: Pete had been a long long time friend of Jeff's. Pete & I met at a bible study & really started to hit it off! I loved Pete, because he was just the sort of friend that I needed at the time! Someone to guide me, someone to help me with my walk, someone to witness to me, someone to love me for who I was. Pete was just that! He was my Friend and He was Jeff's friend. And he knew that Jeff & I should be together. Pete arranged for me (I was only 20) to get into a Jazz club where another friend was playing live music. And then Pete played match maker! Telling Jeff I thought he had a great smile (which WHOA he did) and telling me that Jeff thought I was pretty (or something like that). After leaving the bar we went bowling and hung out- 4 friends!

That's when the flirting started between Jeff & I. And then the phone number exchange & then the phone calls, and then the invitations to hear live music with him! The late night visits started (because I wouldn't allow him to meet my daughter yet). And then love happened. It was fast but it was real! It was awesome. We always prayed about where we were to go in our relationship & what it was supposed to be! It was an amazing feeling for me (& I also think for Jeff).

Soon enough Jeff & Alyssa hit it off. There were times when Alyssa and I were alone ans she would be asking me when Jeff was going to be her daddy! I was excited that God was working in her heart too & allowing her to see what a real dad was! Pete was still a solid rock in our life & our walk into marriage.

Soon into our courtship we choose marriage and more children. We were married in Nov. of 2002 in a small & beautiful ceremony in our home church in California. It was awesome with some of our closest friends being there. We honeymooned 1 night away as Alyssa stayed with her new grandparents who loved her so so much & whom she loved so very much too! In fact I remember Jeff telling me that his mom wanted to know when Alyssa was going to call her grandma! It was exciting to see that relationship grow and bloom! Alyssa also had new aunties & a new uncle who she was so excited to get to know! She was often in the make-up with her auntie & Jeff & I enjoyed watching her relationship with her uncle & aunties grow!

Jeff & I were excited to welcome a baby boy! I loved that when Jeff got the video ultrasound he couldn't stop watching it & was so excited for his little boy to be born. I was excited to see how our relationship with each other & with God was going to play out.

Tragedy: I received a phone call around lunch time on April 28, 2003. I was 8 months pregnant. It was Jeff's boss calling. He had received a phone call that his company truck had been in a fender bender on a busy highway on the central coast of California. He said it was nothing serious, and was wondering if I had heard from Jeff, as to what had happened. He told me the area it had been. I had heard from Jeff approx 15-20 Min's earlier & he was on his way to the shop for lunch break. I tried numerous times to call him and never got ahold of him. That's when I hopped into my car & sped off to the accident scene, almost getting into a few accidents myself. I arrived on the scene to no Jeff. He had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

God`s hands were with me the whole day, as I look back on it it was a miserable horrible day, but I was taken care of. I went into a hysterical screaming match at the police demanding to know what happened and they would not tell me. They would not let me back into my car to drive to the hospital as I was freaking out. I did not have a cell phone & only knew 1 number of anyone to call in the whole area as we had only moved there months earlier. I did happen to call my MIL`s house & she answered & into a panic as I screamed into the phone that Jeff was in an accident & that's all I knew. Along came a van with a woman in it who happened to recognize me as I had recently started going to a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group at a local church. She got out of her van & spoke to one of the police officers (who coincidental was a christian too) and offered to give me a ride to the hospital. I hopped in with Alyssa and off we went. My MIL was in route also. While we were driving to the hosp. the woman received a phone call (which I later learned was the christian police officer) and she instantly started praying. I had this gut feeling it wasn't good. After being directed to the wrong hospital we were redirected to the hospital where Jeff was. I walked into the bad news room as I like to call it, to my in laws crying and a doctor kneeled down in front of my MIL. Jeff had died. I just remember going into shock. Complete & utter shock. God took control of my life that day & allowed me to get through everything that happens when someone dies. All the planning, all the grief.

That day was the worst day of my life.

So, I'm kinda excited....

Meet Mike! He is my new main man! And I'm rootin for him all the way!

I guess I should back up a bit... I got into a pool for the upcoming SURVIVOR that starts tonight! I've never actually watched every single episode of survivor, but I so needed something to break up this winter & look forward to! And a friend of mine put on this pool where they draw names for who gets who on survivor. And Mike is my man. Check him out:

Mike Borassi (62)
Hometown: Marina del Rey, Calif
Occupation: Personal Chef

This California transplant, originally from New York, will do or say anything to become the next SURVIVOR. After a career as a college football coach at Boston University in the 1970’s and over 30 years in the food industry, he currently works as a personal chef.

Married without children, he enjoys gardening, reading, working out and spending time with friends. He is funny, dependable and quiet, yet, he is never afraid to tell it like it is. He can’t stand bad drivers, republicans or bigots and admits that the easiest way to make him angry is to move around his kitchen equipment.

At 62 years old, he has been preparing for his experience on SURVIVOR by working out with a personal trainer on a daily basis and has lost over 30 pounds in preparation for his chance at the million dollar prize. A true SURVIVOR fan, he has watched every single episode from the very beginning and came close to being part of the cast last season. His strategy includes remaining cooperative and low-key so the “stupid, cocky ones self-destruct.” Rather than making aggressive moves, he plans to allow his leadership qualities to emerge naturally which may mask the fact that he can, at times, be competitive and almost predatory.

Mike resides in Marina del Rey, Calif. and his birthday is March 13.

So by enetering this pool I could win $100. I think that Mike is going to be a huge threat, BUT I do beleive he will win, for a couple of reasons.

• His birthday is March 13 and my oldest daughters birthday is the same!
• I like how he puts that he will remain copperative & low key so the "stupid, cocky ones self-destruct." Oh ya, he knows what he's doing!
• His age...

So come along with me while I eat up the winter with some yummy Survivor!

~the day

simple is my motto today as I hold all those who are hurting because of what today means in their hearts...

~boobalicious

yep, ladies & gents that's me! Ha ha, okay just kidding, but seriously my 18 month old is still nursing & really, I don't want to stop. But what is with lots & lots of people suggesting that "its about time she got off that stuff" or "yes, you should wean her." Like why should I get her off the breast? For the most part I'm only feeding her to sleep (okay I know that's a no no, but I've done it from day one & DO NOT appreciate your opinion on that one!).


There is times when I think it's time she's cut off... like the times when I think about going on a far off exotic vacation all alone when the children are left with their father (who am I kidding?) Or the time when I want to come home sloppy drunk & remain drunk for weeks (ya, that is so me, eh?) and sometimes when I just want to lay her down to sleep in her bed & be on my merry way doing absolutely nothing like blogging or face booking!


But I have a ton of reasons why I want to continue and plan to continue for a bit yet... And if you insist I'll give you a few of them:

♥She's my baby, my last baby (the cord is cut & the sample has been given, no more babies) and I can't seem to come to grips that I will never have this bond with another child in my whole entire life. I want to make it last as long as I possibly can.
♥It's healthy for her, but it's healthy for me too! Did you know that breastfeeding can cut your risk of breast cancer? Well that's reason enough keep her attached if you ask me!
♥I love the time I get with her, just sitting in the rocking chair, her looking up at me, suckling away, completely content. She's a toddler now & completely on the run so when would I get my little love time? I gotta enjoy it for the now!
♥I can at any moment take away her pain & fear! All I have to offer her is 'the goods'
♥she's never been on a bottle, really, she will kinda suck one, but not that much, so why would I make her give up her sucking and loving it for a hard sippy cup?

and the main point it we love it, her & I. We both like it & I'd appreciate it if it's my decision when I stop! (but I promise to never ever ever let her come to me in public and lift my shirt & start sucking! I promise!)