HE is pulling me back in

It's time to be real. It's time to write exactly whats going on.

God is after me. He is after my heart. He deeply desires me to obey all that he has planned for me in life. He deeply wants me to come home.

Back in 2003 I left home, the home that Jesus Christ has for me. Although I always believed in him, I wasn't following him. And as I would make 1 step forward in my healing, I would be taken 4 or 5 steps back.

It's amazing how in 1 moment things have changed. God used & is using my beautiful children to get back into my heart. He has put the right people in my life at the right time. He is standing right in front of me and now I'm ready to run into his arms again.

I'm not perfect, but I've been living my life farther from Him than I ever remember in my adult years.

Here is what is happening to me: My son, Jameson, who is the Child to myself and my deceased husband Jeff, has been having a really hard time. He is suffering from major anxiety, having extreme behavioral outburst's, and is extremely sad ALL.THE.TIME. This is the child who has never in his life given me any grief. He has been nearly perfect since the day he was dropped from heaven into my arms, a reminder of the great love from my God and the gift that was left to me form his dad, Jeff. During this difficult time he has been asking me time & again why we don't go to church anymore, why we don't pray, If I believe in God, if other important people in our lives believe in God, Etc etc.

I believe God is using this bump in the road of raising my son to get back to Him, get me back home. Start living whole again. And from this day on I'm going to obey. I'm walking with him, not against him!

Jer 29:11- He knows his plans!

So follow me as I continue my little blog about my little family, because blogging makes me happy, my family makes me happy, and God makes me happy!

~I know

Emily... the Bachelor, I know the blog word is going crazy tonight with their opinion.

Here is mine.

Emily is one amazing mama. Although she was not married to Ricky, she loved him, she intended to marry him & he died. She is/was a widow.

When a widow finds love again, it is so so so scary. I know. I've been there.

Brad is so amazing to stand by her & love her through this hard time in her life.

I am hopeful that this story is a complete and amazing love story. Let them live their lives now people. Let them fall deeper & deeper in love!

I love you brad & Emily!

x0

~inspired

There was a time when I thought I would be this wonderful amazing writer in my life. I filled notebooks upon notebooks with my words.

It made me feel good.
It made me feel whole.
It made me feel alive.
It gave me hope.
It gave me clearity.
It was amazing.

and to top it off i thought I was good at it.

Yesterday a friend of mine texted me "U should be a writer. Like serious. U should write a book or newspaper articles or something. Holy man ur talented."

I blushed & thought she was making fun of something i posted on facebook, but I now think she was serious. And it made me think....

seriously think.

i need to write again. I love writing. I love what it does for me.

To be honest, I could care less what it does for you! It's for me!

This time it's real! And I'm real excited!!!

Are you?

~ I Heart Faces

I've decided to start participating in some little photo challenges! Here is the one form this week: Cell phone photos!!! Hope you love it, I know Karley will hate me one day for it!

~being Brave... VERY BRAVE

Follow me the next 6 weeks as I become a very brave girl....

I have no idea what to expect over the next 6 weeks as I take this online workshop on soul restoration, but I think my soul has needed restoring for a long time. I decided that I'm going to share my brave journey on my blog. I'm going to be brutally blissfully honest. It's going to be one heck of a ride, & it starts tomorrow! Hang on tight cause it's gonna be fun!

~is family forever?

One of my biggest fears as my children grow into adult hood (yeah I have a while, but I still think about it) is that they will grow into adults and have nothing to do with one & other. I'm terrified that I will be old sitting in a nursing home or something & each one of them can't be together in the same room together.

I suppose most of this comes out because there are people on both sides of my family who will probably never talk again. I don't even know the exact reason for some of them, but it saddens me. It saddens me to think that people who spend a good portion of their lives getting to know how the world operates will end a relationship over something, but nothing at all!

It seems to me that a lot of times the relationship dwindles over relationships that the family member enters in that the other family member doesn't approve of or like. That to me is just plain stupid. We are all can make our own stupid or educated choices. Most of us come form some sort of background that gives us the knowledge to make the life altering choices. And most of all... if & when these choices fail in our lives, our family who is there forever is there to help us through the hump.

It saddens me that we can throw our family out the window & worship others like they're Gods who try to tear our families apart.

That being said I love & appreciate both of my parents & both of my brothers & always support them in their decisions!

I just hope some people learn from others mistakes.... just sayin.

~didn't make me happy, but.....

It was a bittersweet feeling to me when the Canada world Juniors ended their game against Russia like this:
And Russia ended their bid for gold like this:
....just saying....

Onto other things.... I lay in bed at night & think of these super amazing things I'm going to write, then I wake up in the morning & their gone... But I promise they're going to come back to me!

Oh & did you notice anything different about my blog??? It's all thanks to my dear long time friend Rachel! Check her out, I think you'll love her to!

So I have this idea of a post called... "family isn't Forever...."

Maybe I'll run with it, maybe I wont!