Thursday, September 24, 2009

~kids say the funniest things

This is a story about 2 brothers...

... sitting so nice together, watching cartoons... COMMERCIAL break!

Maxi pad comemercial comes on... Here is the conversation that followed during that commercial....

Mason: "dad, are those a kind of band-aids?"

... Connor is looking right at his dad as mason ask's this... (like he's wondering the same thing)

Jason (the Dad): "No, No they're not."

EXIT dad...

He was not going to address what they really were!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

~how we became who we are part 1

I realize that a few more people are starting to read my blog! Which excites me! I have had this love affair with writing and sharing my life for as long as I can remember. And I love that most people are keenly aware that most lives are far from perfect, including mine (Thank God for forgiveness)!

So I wanted to do a little mini session about how we came to be the appell-igarta family. We'll start with me & how the Igarta got into our equation!

Meet Jeff:

Meet Alexa:

Meet Alexa & Alyssa:

Meet Alyssa falling in love with Jeff (wearing his shorts):

Meet Pete:

Beautiful, eh? Actually this is the lowdown on the story!
Alexa: Alyssa & I were living our happily ever after, just the 2 of us. It was actually really great! We were happy. I was in school full time and also working 4 different jobs making ends meet. I was loving being a mom, loving being a student, and loving being an employee! Yes, times were tough, but God was my #1 and he always knew that my life was going to be OK. I was so on fire as a Christian! I loved reading the bible & having my God to fill any void that I was needing in my life.
Jeff: Jeff had been living in Reno, Nevada for approx. 1 year by the time I came along. I remember the story being told numerous times as how his journey in Reno came to be. He was living in the central coast of California for as long long time when he felt the Lord calling him to move. He made the jump & came to Reno living with friends and finding work. The part of his story that sticks out so much to me is that before he left the coast he told his dad that he was going to Reno to find a wife! (wait for it, wait for it, oh ya!) After giving up his whole life as he knew it & putting God as number 1, Jeff & I crashed into each other with the help of a friend.
Pete: Pete had been a long long time friend of Jeff's. Pete & I met at a bible study & really started to hit it off! I loved Pete, because he was just the sort of friend that I needed at the time! Someone to guide me, someone to help me with my walk, someone to witness to me, someone to love me for who I was. Pete was just that! He was my Friend and He was Jeff's friend. And he knew that Jeff & I should be together. Pete arranged for me (I was only 20) to get into a Jazz club where another friend was playing live music. And then Pete played match maker! Telling Jeff I thought he had a great smile (which WHOA he did) and telling me that Jeff thought I was pretty (or something like that). After leaving the bar we went bowling and hung out- 4 friends!
That's when the flirting started between Jeff & I. And then the phone number exchange & then the phone calls, and then the invitations to hear live music with him! The late night visits started (because I wouldn't allow him to meet my daughter yet). And then love happened. It was fast but it was real! It was awesome. We always prayed about where we were to go in our relationship & what it was supposed to be! It was an amazing feeling for me (& I also think for Jeff).
Soon enough Jeff & Alyssa hit it off. There were times when Alyssa and I were alone ans she would be asking me when Jeff was going to be her daddy! I was excited that God was working in her heart too & allowing her to see what a real dad was! Pete was still a solid rock in our life & our walk into marriage.
Soon into our courtship we choose marriage and more children. We were married in Nov. of 2002 in a small & beautiful ceremony in our home church in California. It was awesome with some of our closest friends being there. We honeymooned 1 night away as Alyssa stayed with her new grandparents who loved her so so much & whom she loved so very much too! In fact I remember Jeff telling me that his mom wanted to know when Alyssa was going to call her grandma! It was exciting to see that relationship grow and bloom! Alyssa also had new aunties & a new uncle who she was so excited to get to know! She was often in the make-up with her auntie & Jeff & I enjoyed watching her relationship with her uncle & aunties grow!
Jeff & I were excited to welcome a baby boy! I loved that when Jeff got the video ultrasound he couldn't stop watching it & was so excited for his little boy to be born. I was excited to see how our relationship with each other & with God was going to play out.
Tragedy: I received a phone call around lunch time on April 28, 2003. I was 8 months pregnant. It was Jeff's boss calling. He had received a phone call that his company truck had been in a fender bender on a busy highway on the central coast of California. He said it was nothing serious, and was wondering if I had heard from Jeff, as to what had happened. He told me the area it had been. I had heard from Jeff approx 15-20 Min's earlier & he was on his way to the shop for lunch break. I tried numerous times to call him and never got ahold of him. That's when I hopped into my car & sped off to the accident scene, almost getting into a few accidents myself. I arrived on the scene to no Jeff. He had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
God`s hands were with me the whole day, as I look back on it it was a miserable horrible day, but I was taken care of. I went into a hysterical screaming match at the police demanding to know what happened and they would not tell me. They would not let me back into my car to drive to the hospital as I was freaking out. I did not have a cell phone & only knew 1 number of anyone to call in the whole area as we had only moved there months earlier. I did happen to call my MIL`s house & she answered & into a panic as I screamed into the phone that Jeff was in an accident & that's all I knew. Along came a van with a woman in it who happened to recognize me as I had recently started going to a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group at a local church. She got out of her van & spoke to one of the police officers (who coincidental was a christian too) and offered to give me a ride to the hospital. I hopped in with Alyssa and off we went. My MIL was in route also. While we were driving to the hosp. the woman received a phone call (which I later learned was the christian police officer) and she instantly started praying. I had this gut feeling it wasn't good. After being directed to the wrong hospital we were redirected to the hospital where Jeff was. I walked into the bad news room as I like to call it, to my in laws crying and a doctor kneeled down in front of my MIL. Jeff had died. I just remember going into shock. Complete & utter shock. God took control of my life that day & allowed me to get through everything that happens when someone dies. All the planning, all the grief.
That day was the worst day of my life.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

So, I'm kinda excited....

Meet Mike! He is my new main man! And I'm rootin for him all the way!
I guess I should back up a bit... I got into a pool for the upcoming SURVIVOR that starts tonight! I've never actually watched every single episode of survivor, but I so needed something to break up this winter & look forward to! And a friend of mine put on this pool where they draw names for who gets who on survivor. And Mike is my man. Check him out:

Mike Borassi (62)
Hometown: Marina del Rey, Calif
Occupation: Personal Chef

This California transplant, originally from New York, will do or say anything to become the next SURVIVOR. After a career as a college football coach at Boston University in the 1970’s and over 30 years in the food industry, he currently works as a personal chef.

Married without children, he enjoys gardening, reading, working out and spending time with friends. He is funny, dependable and quiet, yet, he is never afraid to tell it like it is. He can’t stand bad drivers, republicans or bigots and admits that the easiest way to make him angry is to move around his kitchen equipment.

At 62 years old, he has been preparing for his experience on SURVIVOR by working out with a personal trainer on a daily basis and has lost over 30 pounds in preparation for his chance at the million dollar prize. A true SURVIVOR fan, he has watched every single episode from the very beginning and came close to being part of the cast last season. His strategy includes remaining cooperative and low-key so the “stupid, cocky ones self-destruct.” Rather than making aggressive moves, he plans to allow his leadership qualities to emerge naturally which may mask the fact that he can, at times, be competitive and almost predatory.

Mike resides in Marina del Rey, Calif. and his birthday is March 13.

So by enetering this pool I could win $100. I think that Mike is going to be a huge threat, BUT I do beleive he will win, for a couple of reasons.

  • His birthday is March 13 and my oldest daughters birthday is the same!
  • I like how he puts that he will remain copperative & low key so the "stupid, cocky ones self-destruct." Oh ya, he knows what he's doing!
  • His age...

So come along with me while I eat up the winter with some yummy Survivor!

Friday, September 11, 2009

~the day

simple is my motto today as I hold all those who are hurting because of what today means in their hearts...

Thursday, September 10, 2009


yep, ladies & gents that's me! Ha ha, okay just kidding, but seriously my 18 month old is still nursing & really, I don't want to stop. But what is with lots & lots of people suggesting that "its about time she got off that stuff" or "yes, you should wean her." Like why should I get her off the breast? For the most part I'm only feeding her to sleep (okay I know that's a no no, but I've done it from day one & DO NOT appreciate your opinion on that one!).

There is times when I think it's time she's cut off... like the times when I think about going on a far off exotic vacation all alone when the children are left with their father (who am I kidding?) Or the time when I want to come home sloppy drunk & remain drunk for weeks (ya, that is so me, eh?) and sometimes when I just want to lay her down to sleep in her bed & be on my merry way doing absolutely nothing like blogging or face booking!

But I have a ton of reasons why I want to continue and plan to continue for a bit yet... And if you insist I'll give you a few of them:

♥She's my baby, my last baby (the cord is cut & the sample has been given, no more babies) and I can't seem to come to grips that I will never have this bond with another child in my whole entire life. I want to make it last as long as I possibly can.
♥It's healthy for her, but it's healthy for me too! Did you know that breastfeeding can cut your risk of breast cancer? Well that's reason enough keep her attached if you ask me!
♥I love the time I get with her, just sitting in the rocking chair, her looking up at me, suckling away, completely content. She's a toddler now & completely on the run so when would I get my little love time? I gotta enjoy it for the now!
♥I can at any moment take away her pain & fear! All I have to offer her is 'the goods'
♥she's never been on a bottle, really, she will kinda suck one, but not that much, so why would I make her give up her sucking and loving it for a hard sippy cup?

and the main point it we love it, her & I. We both like it & I'd appreciate it if it's my decision when I stop! (but I promise to never ever ever let her come to me in public and lift my shirt & start sucking! I promise!)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

~gender differences

This might just be one of the most controversial posts I have ever written but I'm feelin it now, and whats the point of a blog if you can't be a blogger in the bloggity blog world and share what written on your heart?

This post might really piss some men off & it might make some women grin as it's written from a woman's perspective. I mean no harm by writing this post & can only share with you what I've experienced.

Let me first tell you that I am happily married to a MAN, who is like any other man. But in some ways not like any other man. He's different and he's the same. I'm sure many of you have met that man. And I mean no disrespect by bringing him into this post & am in no way angry at him for anything. I'm just thinkin...

Is this world so different from lets say.... my grandmothers day & age?? Is it? I mean, yes women can vote, women can say what they want, women can work, women can be in politics, women can go to war, woman can do LOTS of stuff. But what about the SAHM (stay at home mom)? Is she treated equally? Yes, we do make the choice (for the most part) to be stay at home moms but where is the equality between us and our other halves?

For instance... in my own personal life (& don't forget that I am happily married & love my hubby to pieces) I feel as though I need to start a revolution to make our lives "equal." Yes, Jason works and brings home a paycheck but on a level that I'm not willing to share online, I also contribute financially to the family through other ways and I feel I contribute equally to his paycheck. So because he goes away to work & brings home a paycheck it does not (in my mind) mean that he should get privileges that i do not. But yet, in this day & age, the men are getting more privileges than the SAHM. Jason gets to continually get out of the house with out any children to get a break. And maybe his way to get out of the house is simply out to his garage (detached garage I might add) and smoke a cigarette and have a beer. But he is out of the house, away from all the children (most of the time, but others he has 1 or 2 kids with him), no distractions in his "space" doing "what he enjoys." I don't get that privilege, hardly ever. I would say I could count on both hands how many times in a year I'm left to my home all alone to do what I "enjoy." Ya, it's not often. And, I allow it. I do not press for 'me time.' I repeatedly press Jason to get out of the house & enjoy himself. For example, I've been having very painful headaches for about a month now, and most of my relief comes from a deep tissue massage, which I had the opportunity to go get tonight. But, when I brought it up, I remembered that Jason was invited to go have a "guys night" and play poker. This happening as we speak, while last night he was out on his "Tuesday night Harley ride." I guess my feelings are hurt that none of the world cares if SAHM's are stuck in this rut day in & day out & then opportunity never comes up where we get to get away. Oh & if we do get to go away, I for one am always left with this guilty feeling in my gut. Like I should not be out enjoying myself while my husband is home to man the heard. Why would I leave him home to stress about it?

Holidays are another issue.... Jason and I have been married for a little over a year and we take separate holidays already! 99.9% of the time my holiday is with children & his holidays are with out children. This leave me, the SAHM feeling that I am just one big babysitter in my own home! Aren't families supposed to holiday together as 1? But financially we can't all get away together & it's been set in stone that Jason will go away 1 week out of the year with his sister and brother to a biker rally. My week or so away is always with children and seems to be more stressful on me to have to take my children out of their own home. I feel like I'm "babysitting" them in another person's house. In fact I hate leaving my house with my children to visit another person's home. And even if I'm with my husband I'm still left "babysitting" and feeling very overwhelmed. Isn't is just easier for him to go and play and me to stay at home with all of my responsibilities?

And what about toys? Why is it the average male gets to have at least 1 very very expensive toy to play with? By toys I men 4-wheelers, boats, motorbikes, ski-doo's. My toy? a $800 camera that I make money with. I'm dying to buy a new camera, BUT know it's not logical in this economy. Bills keep coming in and the money isn't readily available.

Why do men not see that in a family household men & women should be treated equally in all ways. Why doesn't a women get to have a weekly "fun" time? And why wouldn't we take it if it was offered? Why is it that men will readily take the chance to get away from their family and women will not. Why do we feel guilty about being able to get away? Why do women press men to get a break but if it's offered by a man to a woman we decline & the men is okay with it. They don't press us to get the break we most desperately need? Why will women go out & buy their man a surprise trip to get away from life (the life where their responsibilities are slim) and the men never ever get their women a trip to get away.

My theory is, men are jealous beings. They can't take it when they are stuck at home raising children while their wife is out playing. And if the wife is out playing the man instantly thinks the wife is cheating? Why do men not trust their wives how the wife trusts her husband? I think men still think of women on a lower level & don't strive to treat them equally. Why are we so separated still when it comes to equality in gender? When will it be equal?

Monday, September 7, 2009

~2 wheeled weekend!

It was a productive weekend if you ask me! The greatest part was that we were all together as a family! We did lots of fun stuff that didn't involve ever having to leave our home!
I prepped Mason's bedroom while Jason was away working & Mason has been bunking it in mom & dads room while his bedroom was "under construction." Well it is now 99.9% finished! It looks awesome thanks to the handy painting of my handsome hubby!
Jameson asked me at the beginning of summer to take his training wheels off so he could ride a 2-wheeler like his friend Landon. I did, but he was not ready to join the world of 2 wheelers yet & had to have his training wheels back on while up in Alaska (in fact I believe Papa had to buy him new ones to put on his bike!). Well this weekend we pressed forward & he is now a 2 Wheeling fool! The next morning after learning his new skill he was up first thing asking me to ride his bike. And the rest is history! He keeps getting better & better.

Of course Jameson & Connor are 2 peas in a pod & Connor must also learn this new found freedom of 2-Wheeling! He's also doing awesome! Soon they'll both be ready to jump all the hills out in the field next to our home.

We had a n awesome wiener roast on Sunday night & the kids totally enjoyed themselves! And our garages are about organized & finished! As soon as I get the laundry done & the floors washed I think I'll pull out fall decorations. Oh wait... I must make salsa & pickle beets first! Happy short week!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

~did you know?

so, I sort of know that people are stopping by to read my blog... which I am so honored that you are! But did you know that at the bottom of each blog post there is a place in which you can comment? And even if you aren't a member of blogger you can still comment? So, I'd love for you all to give me a little bloggity love when stop on by! Plus, if you have your own blog I'd love to come visit you and give you some bloggy love too!

This is a long weekend for us Canadians too! And I was honored & blessed to shoot a wedding today! I'm busy photo shopping as we speak & an so excited! Have a great rest of your long weekend!

Friday, September 4, 2009

~are you kidding me?

Yes, I know... I should bottle up her artistic ability, but none, I repeat none of my children prior to her were ever so artistic! Lucky her, I love to snap pics! And lucky lucky her I let her wear her every so brilliantly applied makeup for about an hour before I made her wash it off! and lucky lucky lucky her that i just ♥ her more than anything!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

~Kindergarten & 35

This boy started kindergarten on Tuesday! Isn't he the most handsome thing ever? His blue eyes never ever cease to give me shivers, esp. looking at them in pictures. Yep, Connor is going to be a heart throb! Taking bids now for arranged marriage!

But seriously, I'm so blessed that none of my kids are scared of school. I suppose with all the changes in their lives over the years they've had to learn to adapt quickly! I always pity the mom who has to leave their 5 year old in a classroom crying and wanting to come home. But my children, thus far, are not like that! Anyhow, Connor is well on his way to a successful year in kindergarten & I adore ADORE adore his teacher who Jameson had last year! It's going to be such a great year for him!
Somebody in our house turned 35 today! I was thinking about it... and I can't even fathom being 35. What must it be like? And not joking either. I'm closer in age to 25 than I am to 35... weird! Yep... he likes the younger bomb shells & I like the older more "mature" men! Anyhow, let me take this opportunity to say to this 35 year old "thanks for being the amazing husband & father that you are!! We love you!"